Addilee Mae Allred

Well now that my little one is already 2 months old I guess I better introduce her and tell her birth story.
It all started the week before Kennedy's first birthday.  I thought that I might be pregnant so I went and took the test.  After I took the test and saw it was positive I told Kennedy to go wake up daddy and tell him that you are going to be a big sister! Of course she didn't know what this consisted of, but Davy certainly did! We were both so excited and couldn't wait! Being pregnant is one of my favorite times.  I love feeling the little movements and the little hiccups (which she had A LOT of!).  Its just such an amazing time, knowing that my body is supporting me as well as a beautiful little being that rely's on me entirely! Addi was stubborn from the beginning though.  At my 20 week appointment we were able to see her gender, but she wouldn't let us see the chambers to her heart.  Which is one thing they really like to look at.  So a couple weeks later we had to go back in and get another ultrasound.  Pregnancy is so good to me.  I usually don't get too sick which is so nice especially when you know you have to chase a toddler around everywhere!
My last month of pregnancy went super quick.  David and I both started working full time and it was very rough work, but it was fun also!
July 16th came and we headed up to Provo to stay with Nikki for the night, because I was getting induced at 6:30 the next morning.  I didn't sleep for a couple of reasons.  Number one, I was having a baby in a few hours, and number two it was the first night I had ever left Kennedy over night, so I was worried with how she was doing.  We left her with my parents so I wasn't really too worried.
The time came and we headed to the hospital.  We got all checked in which seemed like it took forever.  The nurses took us back to our room #21 and we got situated. They hooked me up to the pitocen and we got things going.  By the time I was all hooked up it was probably 7:30.  Right from the beginning my nurse told me that the hospital was very busy and that if I wanted an epidural then I needed to get one sooner rather than later.  I waited until around 11:30 and I finally got it.  After that things got real and about 20 minutes later I was pushing.  My parents had planned on getting there before I had Addi, but they didn't make it.  Addi came at 11:55 am after only 10 minutes of pushing.
My labor with her with went sooo much better than it did with Kennedy and it went so much faster!

Addilee Mae Allred was 7lbs 2oz and was 20.5 inches long.  She was born with great lungs and she let us know it.  She is so beautiful and has big blue eyes and a tint of red hair.  She is loved by everyone but especially by her big sister.  Kennedy is so good to her and she loves to make her smile! I love my two girls and am so blessed to have them!

Life... Where does it go from here?

As I'm sitting here trying to stall from packing, I have a million thoughts running through my mind like a herd of wild elephants.  They are so scattered that I don't even know where to begin, much like my house at this point in time.
We live our lives knowing that we are going to be going to school for quite a few years, at least 12, and that's just what we are expecting.  Then some of us choose to go to college and some don't.  You think, or at least I did that once you are done with school your career would just pop up and you know what you are going to do with your life.  Well my friends I'm afraid to tell you that although you have been planning what you are going to do pretty much ever since you have been married, things can change on a whim.  We are moving out of Provo tomorrow and honestly don't really know what is going to come next.  We know that we are going to move in with my parents until we get on our feet, We know that we are going to have a baby in July, and we know that God has a plan for us.  But other than that we don't really KNOW very much more.
God does hear us I know this because the other night Davy and I were contemplating what we were going to do with our lives and how we were going to do it, we decided to read a passage of scriptures and it happened to be one that put us in our place.  It said something along the lines of we need let Him tell us what is right instead of us telling Him what is right.  It was amazing that He let us know that he was still in control.
I still wish I knew what we were going to do, and where we were going to live.  I wish I could see the future and know where we needed to start looking.  But I know this is one of the great times in life where God tries us and wants us to succeed.  I know that He has a plan and He will reveal it unto us when the time is right.  I know that although it takes patience and a lot of communication with each other and our Father, we will understand His will and know that, that is where we need to be.

Walk Tall, You're a Daughter of God

Lately I have had a few tender moments with little Kennedy.  She is growing up way too fast and it seems like time is just speeding up.  She is getting smarter and smarter.  The other day we were in church and David and I have been trying to teach her what each thing in the sacrament means, for example the bread represents Jesus's body and the water is for his blood.  We also teach her what the sacrament is for.  Anyways on Sunday, just out of curiosity I asked Kennedy what the bread was for, she then responded back with the word "body" I couldn't believe it.  She really had been listening and she actually did know.  Then as the water was coming around I proceeded to ask her what the water was for, she replied with "Jesus".  These little spirits are surely gifts from God.  
Tonight I was singing her some songs to try and get her to settle down for the night.  Its been rough getting her to sleep lately because she is getting 3 teeth and now has a stuffed up nose.  Anyways I came upon the song "Walk Tall Your A Daughter" and I decided to sing that to her.  She had her eyes glued on me the entire time I was singing it, and when I finished she asked me to sing it again.  This song hit me really hard tonight because I was really thinking about the words.  

Right now I have a prayer deep within my heart,

A prayer for each of you there is a special part.

That you remember who you are and Him who lives above.

Please seek for Him and live His way; you’ll feel His love.

Chorus:

Walk tall, you’re a daughter, a child of God.

Be strong—please remember who you are.

Try to understand, You’re part of His great plan.

He’s closer than you know—reach up, He’ll take your hand.

2. Long before the time you can remember,

Our Father held you in His arms so tender.

Those loving arms released you as He sent you down to earth.

He said, “My child, I love you. Don’t forget your great worth.”

3. This life on earth we knew would not be easy.

At times we lose our way—His plan we may not see.

But please remember always—please—that you are not alone.

He’ll take your hand. He loves you! He will guide you home.

I love the Chorus because it talks about the fact that we always need to be looking towards Him.  If we seek Him, He will be there for us! We just need to reach up and take His hand and he will hold ours back.  In the second verse it says that His arms released you and sent you down to earth.  This part really hit home because He sent Kennedy down to me! He trusted me with her and trusted that I would take care of her the way she needs.  He also entrusted me with another sweet spirit that will join us in three and a half short months.  

When I think of this great responsibility and the great trust the Lord has in me as a mother, it makes me want to try that much harder to spend every little bit of my time with these sweet spirits.  Although He has sent them to me, I know that so many times he has his arms encircled around me too comforting me and helping me to do the things I need to do to help these little ones return to Him.  "My child, I love you.  DON'T FORGET YOUR GREAT WORTH!! This sentence has so much meaning behind it! In the world we live in today, everyone is trying to tell us we aren't good enough.  We aren't pretty enough, we aren't skinny enough we just aren't enough.  But we are, We are good enough, each and every one of us! I need to help my girls understand that they are always good enough! And the best way for me to do that is to tell myself that I am good enough! As the last sentence states, We need to always remember that we are never ever alone!! He truly loves us and will never leave us.  We just need to take His hand and let Him lead us home! 

I know this post was kind of a random one but I needed to get my thoughts out.  As I am preparing to raise two young girls in this world, I need to gain the confidence in myself so that I can show my daughters how to have confidence.  Because after all that is one thing that will get them through.  Knowing who they truly are and what they stand for will help them to overcome the world! 

Some days...

Do you ever have those days as a stay at home mom, where you feel like you did absolutely nothing, and when the hubby comes home you feel bad because of the messy house? Well that happens to me more often than it should.  Davy gets home and I tell him that I didn't just sit on my butt all day even though it looks like it. And then I really get thinking, what did I actually do all day? Let me tell you! The life of a stay at home mom is not always easy.  You don't always get the acknowledgement from it.  You don't always get thanked.  And sometimes you just want to go back to bed. 

But then you do get those rewards in ways that I would say are way better than any job could offer! Taking Kennedy to the park on days that are warm has become a great tradition! I love watching her interact with other kids, I love watching her discover new talents she has.  I love to watch her grow and become more confident.  Its amazing how much can change in one trip to the park.  One day she is terrified of going down the slide, the next day she wants to try it all by herself.  Its amazing! Looking at family pictures has also become a great thing we do.  Its fun teaching her about all her relatives and its even more fun to tell her about the ones that have passed away.  

I teach her about animals and what they say, I teach her to say please and thank you, I teach her about Jesus, and I teach her about confidence and self image.  She is such a smart girl already and I hope she can teach her little sister to be confident and loving.   Daily I kiss her owies, I hug her better and I comfort her when she becomes frightened. Tickle all the sillies out.  Rock with her because she is being really cuddly and I just can't seem to put her down.  I am a doctor, a therapist, a patient, a different animal every minute, a record player, a blanket, a chef, and most importantly a mommy!! We enjoy our conversations and our daily dance parties.  I love to let her see baby sister kick my tummy (even though she doesn't understand). 

Although I know there are many things I need to do to improve my relationship with her I feel that some days the house work can wait, and I just need to take the time to really BE with my little girl! I feel that maybe one less episode of Mickey Mouse a day and one more story read to my little girl will be a great way to start strengthening my relationship.  

Being pregnant with a toddler isn't easy by any means, especially on days like today where the pregnancy has been very rough, and the toddler doesn't want to take a nap because her new teeth coming in are bugging her.  But honestly I wouldn't EVER change it for anything!! God still  manages to help me ouT ANd helps me to have the energy and strength to overcome just about anything! 

Tender Mercies

Pregnancy does weird things to your body.  It changes your personality, it changes your body appearance, it also changes the way your body works.  Although I'm changing in ways I didn't know were possible I accept these changes very well.  Holding my little toddler Kennedy has become more difficult and awkward although manageable.  Kennedy has also become way more clingy which I honestly don't mind.
I was given the challenge to look for tender mercies daily and I accepted that challenge.  The biggest tender mercy happened to me the other day.  I decided it would be fun to play a game of competitive soccer for the first time in over a year and well being 3 1/2 months pregnant and just starting this up again probably wasn't the best idea.  I got home that night feeling terrible and I didn't sleep at all because I was worried about the little one that was inside of me.  I kept asking God to for a way to know that my baby was okay and I wasn't sure how it was going to work because I'm not supposed to be able to feel the baby kick for another couple weeks.  But as we all know God works miracles every day and I felt my baby give me a few very reassuring kicks! It was a very humbling experience and I was grateful for it!