Changes

There have been a lot of changes in my life over the past couple years.  I went to my families ward in Ephraim last week and they asked me to talk to the girls in young women's about finding joy in trials.  I thought that I would be able to breeze through everything that I said without and problems just because I didn't realize how big of a deal everything was to me until I got up and started talking.  I cried through the entire thing and I felt really bad just because I couldn't stop crying no matter how hard I tried.  Anyways here I kind of what I said,

After I graduated High school I thought I had my entire life figured out.  I was going to go to Snow College and get my nursing degree.  I was going to marry the man that I was engaged to, my High School Sweetheart, the only man outside of my family that I had ever loved.  When all of a sudden a phone call changed absolutely EVERYTHING!! A soccer coach from a school in middle of no where Wyoming called me and asked me to go play for him.  I didn't know if I should go or not.  I already had all my plans figured out and I didn't want to change them.  But it had always been my dream to play soccer in College, even though I didn't feel I was nearly good enough to play, but it was still my dream and I wanted to take the scholarship so badly.  I took it and that is where everything took a 180 degree turn around.  My family and Colton took a trip to Wyoming and made it a great vacation.  We went to Yellowstone and just had a complete blast.  Finally the time came for my family to leave.  My dad gave me a priesthood blessing that was beautiful, not to mention it was the first time I had ever seen him cry, with the exception of Kody's (my little brother) death.  Everyone was teary eyed and I was practically bawling.  This was the first time I had ever been this far from my parents, and I didn't know anyone at all! I almost backed out and just went home with them because I was so afraid of the unknown. I felt there was no way I could do this! God gave me a task way too hard.  I knew my family and Colton were both just a phone call away, but it really just was not the same.  I didn't have their arms to run to if I was having a rough time and I just didn't think I could do it.  But I decided to at least give it a try.
 Soccer season started off fast and we were in it full fledged. It was rough with all the conditioning we had and just everything being completely different but it was a lot of fun! I got to travel to different states that I had never been to before and I got to meet a lot of new people.  I didn't really know too many people on the soccer team very much because I felt like I was the odd ball in the group.  About two weeks into it all I was so upset from everything, and me being away from my family and I didn't know anyone yet, it was very rough.  I called my parents and asked them to come get me.  They told me they would the next day.  I prayed that entire night and just fought through everything.  I decided to stay and just fight it out a little longer.  I had no idea why God was so insistent on me staying. I didn't know anyone and I wasn't real active in church yet because we had to miss a lot due to soccer games. I felt that was the one way that I was going to make it through was if I became more active in the student ward.  Finally I was able to go to church! It was such a relief, although I still didn't know anyone I was becoming more familiar with everything around me.  I didn't know why I was there but I trusted God did.  He had a plan and He knew what He was doing.
After a few months there things started going downhill with me and the man I loved dearly.  I didn't know what to do.  I was so distraught and it was affecting my ability to play soccer.  I wasn't able to focus or do anything I needed to and things just became way to difficult, I was missing him and I was missing everything we had done together.  I finally couldn't handle it any more and I just had to break off the engagement.  It was the hardest thing I had ever done in my entire life.  I didn't know why God wanted me to do this.  I cried for days and I felt that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop.  I still didn't understand anything God wanted from me.  I turned to God and I really meant everything I said! Its amazing how turning to Him for guidence can improve your life in so many ways.  At first I wasn't playing that much soccer.  I wasn't playing in many games and I just became the benchwarmer.  At this time I really didn't understand why God needed me here so badly.  Everything was going down hill and nothing was working how I thought it would.  Until one day my soccer coach decided to put me in shortly after the game started and I played the entire game! This happened for almost the rest of the season until it came time for regionals, he sat me on the bench again and I didn't get to play after all the hard work I put in.
I finally found out the reason why I was in Powell Wyoming.  I met a man that is so amazing.  I fell head over heels for him and I realized God really did have a purpose for me.  I felt that I would never been good enough for him and I felt there was no way he would ever want me. But he did.  After dating a few months and going through a lot together we got married.  We got sealed in the Manti Utah Temple on June 25, 2011.  It was the most remarkable experience ever and I am so grateful for all the struggles I have had in my life. I am grateful for all those who have shaped my life today.  I wouldn't be who I am without you.  I'm so blessed to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  It gives me the opportunity to go to that castle on the hill and remember the sacred covenents we made with each other and the ones we made with our Father.  It helps me to know that I can be with my family forever and that when the time comes for us to have children that I will never have to say goodbye to them. Life is truly amazing if we only find our maker and turn to Him in our tribulations.  If we don't fail, we don't learn, if we don't learn we don't grow.